14 Ways to Resolve an Argument with Your Spouse

By Joanna Perez
Save Your Marriage - Proven Techniques

Reviewed & edited by Lenny Terra - If you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.

arguments

Arguments with your spouse are never fun. When you live together, it can be challenging to avoid them altogether.

However, there are some ways that you can resolve an argument faster and get back to a good place with your significant other.

We will share eleven tips for how to resolve an argument with your spouse more quickly and easily in this blog post!

Tell the truth. People don’t like to be lied to.

The first thing you need to do is tell the truth. If you have not been honest about something, now is the time to come clean.

Lying will only make things worse and cause more problems down the line. So be open with your spouse and try to explain what happened as best you can without making excuses for yourself.

Lying will only make things worse and cause more problems down the line. So be open with your spouse and try to explain what happened as best you can without making excuses for yourself.

It takes courage to tell the truth but get ready to hear some hard truths in return from your significant other too!

If you don’t want to argue, then don’t. You might try to avoid arguments by lying to your partner, but this makes it worse and can lead to a bigger fight.

You should also let them know how much it upsets you when they lie so that you have less frustration around this issue.

Be specific.

When you are arguing, it’s best to talk about a specific subject that you can both agree on, rather than general subjects.

If you are arguing about money, for example, then that is a good thing to talk about.

Don’t say something like ‘You always spend too much on your hobbies!’ or ‘I hate it when you come home late.’ These things could be accurate, but they don’t give any solution to resolving this argument.

Be specific by saying something like: “When we go out with friends, I feel uncomfortable because of the amount of money you spend.” This way, your partner knows precisely what the problem is and has some ideas for solving it!

Specificity makes arguments constructive instead of destructive so try to use this tactic to ensure everyone’s needs are met during disagreements. Some other examples of specific statements include:

“I would love it if you came to my work events with me because then that means a lot to me and makes me happy. Is there any way that could happen?”

Asking for what you want is the best way to resolve an argument, so try your hardest not to start the conversation off in an accusatory manner!

You can also begin this type of statement with ‘I feel’ or ‘It hurts when…’. These are two great ways of starting sentences because they show how much emotions play into arguments, so people tend to listen better when negative feelings are involved. This will create less resistance during these conversations.

When the conversation moves from general statements to something more specific, that is a good time for each person in the relationship to tell precisely what they want and need out of this situation – whether it’s giving them space after an argument or taking them on a date.

Understand your partner’s point of view.

Often, when you are arguing, it is easy to focus on your point of view and ignore your partner’s. When you do this, it is easy to think that your partner is wrong, even when they are not.

The best way to resolve an argument is by understanding your partner’s point of view and letting them understand yours. This can solve many problems because everyone has different perspectives, so just looking at the situation from their eyes could solve any misunderstandings!

When we approach things with this mindset, it becomes easy to compromise and reach a common ground together to move forward.

This understanding makes it easier to resolve an argument because the other person feels respected, which is what each relationship needs.

If you can’t understand your partner’s point of view or have trouble working together during a disagreement, things will not go as smoothly. They may even escalate into something more serious than just an argument. So try to do this with every conversation!

Use logic. Don’t argue from emotion.

Arguments from emotion are never helpful and only make the situation worse.

They can escalate quickly and lead to an unnecessary or unproductive fight, so when you feel yourself getting emotional during an argument, try your best to stop because this will not resolve anything!

You should also avoid saying things like ‘you always’ or ‘you never. This way of speaking makes it seem like your partner isn’t listening, which prevents them from changing their behavior to fix what bothers you.

These phrases do nothing but create distance between both people involved in the disagreement – we want closeness instead of fighting all the time, so avoiding these types of judgments helps us move forward together!

Instead, use logic and focus on the facts. For example, instead of saying ‘you never listen to me,’ try using a more factual statement like, “I feel hurt because I’ve explained this problem to you three times and still nothing has changed.”

Show them empathy.

empathy

Showing empathy can help resolve an argument because it shows that you understand where the other person is coming from and what they are going through.

This will make them feel respected and ensure a better chance of your point being heard – without this understanding, there could be a lot of miscommunication, and the other person may feel unheard.

We all have a different perspective in life, so if we can learn to respect each other’s opinions, even when they are not like ours, it will help us move forward!

Empathy is a fantastic way to resolve an argument because instead of focusing on yourself, you focus more on your partner, which leads them to express themselves well. This allows their feelings and thoughts to come out without any resistance – this creates a calmer environment that is much easier for both people involved! 

When these conversations happen from empathy, there tends to be less frustration since no one feels judged or wronged by another person. We want our relationships filled with love and understanding rather than hate and anger, so try to use this form of communication during an argument.

Apologize.

Sometimes when we are in the heat of an argument, words can get thrown around that are not necessarily true. We may say something out of frustration or anger, which leads to things being said that were never intended to be hurtful – this is why it’s important to apologize!

We should always take responsibility for what comes out of our mouths during a disagreement, but if you have gone too far, then apologizing will help your partner feel better about themselves and move forward together. 

An apology helps resolve an argument by showing the other person how much respect you have for them, especially since most people do not want to cause intentional harm to someone else just because they have a different opinion than theirs. A simple apology can go a long way when in the heat of an argument, so remember this!

Agree to disagree.

Some issues may never be resolved because of personal views, but this doesn’t mean the relationship has to end!

Instead, couples can agree to disagree on certain subjects even though it might bother them and move forward with their lives. We cannot change others, so we must learn to stay true to ourselves instead of changing our entire being because of one person.

Speak positively.

When speaking to your spouse about something that may be bothering you, it is essential to remember the words we use and our tone of voice and facial expressions.

Saying “I’m so sick of this!” in a high-pitched whiney manner will undoubtedly lead to more conflict rather than a resolution! Instead – speak calmly, say what’s on your mind without being judgmental or attacking them personally, then offer some possible solutions for moving forward together.

Do not go to bed angry.

This is a big one! Couples who know how to resolve their arguments and disagreements before going to sleep at night will have happier relationships in the long run.

Not resolving issues when they arise can lead to resentment, anger, and bitterness, which only hurts your marriage in the end. It’s best just try and resolve whatever may be bothering you as fast as possible, then move on with your day stress-free!

Be willing to compromise.

Every couple has issues they must learn how to compromise on to continue having a happy, healthy relationship – one cannot always get their way 100% of the time, but learning how to meet halfway is better than bickering all day long!

Instead of expecting your spouse to do everything your way, learn to compromise and let them have some say as well. When you both give in every once in a while, you will be surprised how much happier your relationship can become!

Don’t be a jerk.

This is the most important one of all. Don’t ever forget that your spouse will not always agree with you but being rude, disrespectful, or condescending about it doesn’t help them understand where you’re coming from and only causes more discord in your relationship!

Remember to approach all disagreements calmly while listening intently. Think before speaking so both parties can understand what’s bothering each other instead of just arguing for hours without getting anywhere at all.

Say thank you.

thank you

When you can resolve an argument with your spouse, both of you must take the time to thank each other.

This might seem like a small gesture, but it can go such a long way because not only does it show how much respect and love we have for our spouses but also how grateful we are when they want to make amends after something has come between us!

It is infrequent in relationships today where couples attempt to resolve their issues, so if this happens, then try thanking them as often as possible – trust me, they will appreciate all these fantastic gestures from you too!

Trust is key.

It may seem like such an obvious tip, but couples who trust each other are entirely ahead of the game when it comes to resolving arguments because they aren’t afraid their partner might cheat or lie during times of conflict so they can express themselves more openly.

Not only is trust important in a marriage, but it’s also crucial for having healthy relationships with family and friends as well! It all starts by simply listening to your spouse without judgment or assumption then trying to understand their perspective and feelings before coming up with some ideas about how you two can move forward happily.

Seek counseling if necessary.

If no resolution seems possible even after working at it day after day, sometimes couples just need more support than what can provide to the other. This may mean seeking professional help, such as from a therapist specializing in helping married couples resolve their problems through communication rather than spending hours arguing over things that cannot change anyway.

Conclusion

When you get into an argument with your spouse, it can escalate quickly.

You may feel like the other person is not listening to what you have to say, and they are unwilling to compromise.

What I’ve found most helpful when we disagree on something is discussing how we each see things from our perspective and then finding a way that works for both of us.

Check out these 14 ways to resolve arguments below, and let me know which ones work best for you!

Comment if this article has been helpful or if there’s anything else you want to add. Thank you so much for reading!

Author

  • Joanna Perez

    Joanna Perez is a Certified Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Practitioner, a passionate blogger, writer, traveler, wife, and mother of one boy. Joanna loves to share her thoughts on parenting, health, wellness, and lifestyle. She is a Certified Women Empowerment Life Coach and has done courses on Life Mastery, Happiness, Health, and Success. She also has studied Neuroscience for Parents and took the Skilled Helper Training Course. She believes in helping people become the best version of themselves and strives to provide quality informative and inspiring content. She loves animals, especially her two cats, and can often be found taking photos of them as they pose for the camera.

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