53 Simple Rules to Improve Communication in Your Relationship

By Matthew Mansour
Save Your Marriage - Proven Techniques

Reviewed & edited by Lenny Terra - This blog is supported by its readers. If you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.

simple rules that will help you communicate be

If you want your relationship to be healthy and positive, you must have good communication.

This can be difficult at times, but some simple rules will help improve how you communicate with your significant other.

This blog post aims to help couples find ways to overcome common hurdles in relationships and learn how to enjoy their time together, which is why we want to share 53 simple rules that will help improve communication in your relationship!

Contents show

Avoid distractions.

Make sure that you are in a calm environment, if possible, with no interruptions or work to be done before you begin talking about anything meaningful with your partner. Avoid using phones or other devices during these conversations as well!

You need to have complete focus on the conversation at hand and avoid any unnecessary outside factors that could lead to misunderstandings.

Give compliments.

One of the most important things to remember is that there are always positive aspects about your partner, and it’s essential to make time for them as well!

Try to focus on any good qualities they have instead of talking more about what they’re doing wrong, which can help you feel closer to one another if done right.

Start with the good!

Start your conversation with the positive, and then talk about anything that could be improved upon.

This will help keep your significant other from getting defensive, which can often happen when you focus on negative aspects first.

Be flexible in moving forward.

You must be willing to listen and learn from one another when having an open conversation about improving your relationship. 

If you want to improve your communication, it is vital that both partners can be flexible!

Don’t get stuck on one topic for too long.

It’s hard to maintain a good conversation if you are unable or unwilling to move forward, which is why it can be helpful to switch topics every once in a while.

This will help to keep your conversation from getting stale, which can lead to misunderstandings.

Make sure to use “I” statements.

Instead of saying things like, “You always do this,” or “You don’t ever…” it’s much more helpful if you try to express yourself in an honest way about what is going on for you by using the word “I.”

For example: “When I see that our dishes are piling up, I feel annoyed because they’re also my responsibility.”

This doesn’t mean that your partner isn’t responsible for their actions at all.

Instead, it helps them understand why something may have triggered a reaction within you so they can work towards changing the behavior and making both partners happy!

Be aware of how your body language might be perceived.

This can be difficult for many people, but it’s essential to consider how your actions might come across.

For example, if you have folded arms and are leaning away from the conversation, this could make your partner feel like you don’t want them there or that they’re bothering you somehow.

Try to avoid things like eye-rolling as well – these types of gestures tend to create more problems than solutions!

Be willing to compromise.

Both of you must be able to sacrifice for each other when it comes time to make decisions in life or have disagreements.

If this isn’t possible, then there might be some problems down the road with communication because one person will always feel like they’re giving up more than the other!

This should not be taken lightly, so try avoiding situations where either partner feels left out or neglected by their significant other at any cost – especially during times of conflict, which could cause them grief later on.

Talk face-to-face.

Sitting next to each other when having a conversation is the best way for you and your partner to stay in touch.

This might not be easy if one of you has a busy schedule. Still, both people must be present during these conversations so they can see what their significant other might be feeling or thinking about while talking with them!

Don’t wait too long between conversations.

Dont wait too long between conversations

If you do not talk to your partner for at least a few days, it will be tough to know what is going on with you and how they can best help you. If this occurs multiple times for one week or month, then take that as a sign that something is wrong in your relationship!

It could just mean that things have been busy lately and both partners barely have time to breathe, but if these situations keep popping up despite everyone’s best efforts, then it might be necessary to try some new strategies!

Take turns.

It can be frustrating when trying to talk to someone, and they keep cutting in, doing the same thing back at you or ignoring what you were saying altogether. This is why both partners need to try their best to take turns talking about whatever issue has come up without one person interrupting the other!

Allow each other space.

This is a fundamental rule and the key to understanding how communication works in healthy relationships.

If you want your partner to tell you anything, then it has to feel safe for them! This means that they need space without feeling suffocated or constantly watched by their significant other.

Let them have time on their own when possible to think about what’s going on with themselves and allow things like this room to come up organically during a conversation instead of bringing everything out at once. It will likely help improve communication overall!

Don’t avoid each other.

This is one of the most important rules that you can follow to have good communication. If there are specific issues that you’re avoiding talking about with your partner, then it’s going to be hard for them to know how they can help and also damage the relationship over time!

It could just mean that one person feels uncomfortable bringing up a specific topic, and this needs to change if both people want things like trust and honesty within their relationship. Avoiding each other will cause so many problems down the road. This is why we recommend always addressing complex topics as soon as possible instead of waiting until later when it might feel even more challenging than before!

Make eye contact when you’re speaking.

When someone is talking, they need to know that you are paying attention, and it’s not okay for them to feel like their significant other isn’t listening or interested in what they have to say.

Do not use sarcasm.

This is a very hurtful form of communication, and it will only cause your partner to feel bad about themselves. You must always mean what you say, so avoid being sarcastic when possible!

This should not be taken lightly, though, because sarcasm has caused many fights within relationships over time – especially between spouses who have been together for several years!

Do not use words like “always” and “never.”

If your partner says something that bothers you, then it’s okay to tell them! However, phrases like “you always do this” or even saying the word “never” is very damaging because they make one person feel incredibly guilty.

The other partner will likely end up responding with similar language for things to be fair again, which can cause many problems down the road if left unchecked!

It would be best if you never had conversations where both partners speak about each other in these terms. It is crucial to think through what you want to say before speaking, so avoid doing this at all costs when possible – otherwise, communication might break down completely over time!!

Ask good questions.

When you don’t feel like your partner is listening to what you’re saying, then it might be necessary for both of you to take turns asking each other questions! You can start by simply repeating back something that was said to show the person speaking that they have been heard.

However, if things continue along this path and conversation feels very one-sided after several attempts at communicating with one another, it’s time for good quality questions, which will require more than just a yes or no response! There are so many different questions depending on the situation, but active listening skills should always come into play here.

Think before you speak.

Another great tip for improving communication is to think before you speak!

If you’re upset about something, then you must take some time to yourself to process your feelings before actually talking with someone else.

This will help prevent unnecessary arguments and feeling like all conversations are negative because they can be very hard on both people!

Having too much pent-up anger is never good, so always think before speaking when possible for better communication between partners!!

Avoid criticizing each other.

When you are trying to discuss with your significant other, both of you need to try and avoid criticizing the other person as much as possible! This will quickly turn into an argument that could ruin things between the two of you if allowed to continue longer than necessary.

Instead, ask questions about whatever topic has come up so they can give their thoughts without feeling attacked by words or phrases like “you never do anything right.” If this type of behavior continues after being told beforehand not to use it again, then take a step back from talking for a while instead until feelings calm down. Be understanding even when someone else isn’t acting this way.

Solve problems together.

One issue with communication within relationships is that sometimes only one person tries to solve the problem. At the same time, the other simply sits back and watches them handle it all on their own.

This is not what you should be doing! Both partners need to work together towards a solution that works for everyone instead of trying to do things themselves without bringing up their concerns to the other person.

Avoid being passive-aggressive.

One phrase that often gets thrown around when talking about communication within relationships is “passive-aggressive,” which refers to behavior where someone does something subtle yet still hurtful as an attempt at revenge over some conflict between them and their partner.

This is never the right way to solve anything! Suppose you are upset or angry about something that happened earlier. In that case, both people need to address these feelings instead of acting like everything is fine while secretly plotting their revenge against them.

This will only cause more problems in your relationship and might even lead to someone else eventually catching on before things get too out of hand.

Give positive feedback often.

It can be hard sometimes when all you want to do is vent about how difficult things have been lately without ever commenting on the good work that they’ve done since then!

Whether this means doing an extra chore around the house or simply being a better listener during conversations between each other, giving positive reinforcement every now and again will quickly remind them why you fell in love with this person, to begin with!

Ask open-ended questions whenever possible.

Many people run into a problem when trying to communicate with their significant other by asking closed-ended questions, which only allow one answer (yes or no) without opening up the conversation for them to share more about what they’re thinking and feeling on this topic.

This can be especially dangerous if you notice things like your partner not wanting to talk much after something has happened but don’t know why exactly!

Instead of asking simply, “Do you want to talk about it?” ask, “What would you like to do about this situation? What are your thoughts on what happened earlier today?” This type of open-ended question will allow them to share whatever they’re thinking without feeling attacked for their answer.

Avoid hurting each other’s feelings.

One big thing that needs to change for both partners within any relationship is how much negativity there can be when trying to communicate with one another! Avoiding hurting each other’s feelings should always remain a priority whenever possible.

This means avoiding putting someone down during conversations because it might give your partner the impression that you don’t care about them as much as you used to, which can quickly lead to misunderstandings and arguments without either person realizing what is going on.

Be supportive even during difficult times.

supportive

One of the most important things to do when communicating with your significant other is being supportive! This means cheering them on whenever they are going through a difficult time and reminding them that you’re always there for whatever they need, even if this type of support might require some extra effort from your end to get done what needs to be completed.

Avoid using negative language.

Another big thing that can easily ruin a good conversation between couples is having too much negativity within it, which will prevent both people from feeling comfortable enough to have open discussions about their relationship at all! This includes avoiding saying things like “I’m never going to find anyone else” or “You don’t try hard enough!” because these phrases tend to make people feel trapped or unhappy about this current living situation.

Be patient with your partner.

Though we’re all guilty of getting frustrated sometimes, this should not happen every time you have a conversation with your significant other!

It might feel like everything that comes out of their mouth is annoying but remember – they aren’t doing it on purpose, so there’s no reason for anger. Make sure that everyone understands where each other is coming from before jumping to conclusions or reacting harshly.

Take responsibility.

This is one of the most important rules for having good communication in your relationship! If you are constantly making excuses or blaming everything on something else, then this will only cause more problems down the line. Try to be accountable and take responsibility for any situation to get resolved without quickly falling back into old patterns.

Be open with each other about how you feel at all times.

It’s not easy sharing personal information like emotions but doing so will help strengthen trust between both partners and build a more profound connection over time! It may take some practice before either party feels comfortable opening themselves up enough to show their real feelings but keep working towards getting there – it’ll be worth every second once you get closer to achieving this!

Don’t be afraid of difficult conversations.

These are the most important ones that you will have in your relationship, so if they’re not happening, then it’s time for some changes!

It might feel like avoiding specific topics is easier but trust us – these talks are necessary if you want things to improve between both of you.

Do not avoid them until they become a huge problem because by then, it’ll be too late and may even cause irreparable damage to the relationship at hand. Keep everything out in the open where everyone can see what is going on with no secrets or deceits involved!

Never forget why you love each other.

It sounds cheesy, but having this reminder always there can make all the difference when you’re having one of those days where everything seems to be going wrong!

Both partners’ love for each other will always help them get through any tough times and come out stronger than ever before.

Never forget this fact, no matter how challenging things may seem at specific points because it’s all worth it in the end, so never give up on what is most important – your relationship with your significant other.

Always remember to laugh and have fun!

Life can be challenging but finding ways to enjoy every single day together is what makes a relationship work over time, no matter how difficult things might get at specific points along the way.

Laughter is the best medicine, so try not to take anything too seriously and always find something that will make you both smile or even laugh out loud. This type of connection between partners goes far beyond any other form of communication because it unites hearts as one for years on end without ever wavering during times where everything seems like it’s falling apart around them!

Be open-minded when listening.

Though it might be difficult, the best thing you can do when your partner is speaking with you is to avoid judgment and try to understand where they are coming from instead of focusing on how their words make you feel.

If this isn’t possible for whatever reason, then just tell them – there’s nothing wrong with saying that this particular subject makes it hard for someone in the relationship to listen without getting angry!

Ask questions if necessary.

If something doesn’t seem clear enough after one person has finished talking about an issue, ask any follow-up questions until everything becomes clear! It may take a few extra minutes at first but will save both partners from frustration and confusion later.

Be comfortable with silence as well as speaking out loud.

silence

There will be times where you both need a moment to think about what the other person is saying, or when one of you doesn’t have anything else to say for now but might feel differently in a little while!

This isn’t an awkward time that should make either partner uncomfortable – it’s perfectly fine if there are moments of silence during your conversations together!

Let things go easily once they’re resolved.

When issues come up between partners, it’s important not to let them build up inside until negative emotions explode all at once. This can lead to unnecessary fighting and even breakups down the road!

Keep calm throughout everything and don’t hold onto past mistakes for too long – the more you do this, the less likely you’ll be to experience any negative consequences in the future.

Be comfortable with vulnerability and honesty when speaking out loud.

It is important to be honest with your partner at all times, but it can also feel difficult or strange to open up about parts of yourself that you are self-conscious about.

However, this is the best way for both partners to get closer and learn more about each other, so don’t be afraid of certain things that make you uncomfortable – just try your best!

After all, no one should judge their significant other harshly because they occasionally struggle with something like this too.

Follow through with promises made throughout conversations together.

When it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship, both partners have to be willing and able to follow through on their word, but this is sometimes easier said than done!

However, as long as you both put in the effort required, there should never be any problems with keeping promises or making time for each other. Don’t let your responsibilities get in the way if possible – instead, find ways around them so that you can spend quality time together from now until forever!

Both partners must be serious about keeping everything they say to one another in order, but this rule applies even more, when it comes to promises. If you make a commitment, follow through with it without any excuses – if you can’t do something, then be honest about why and try again later on!

When it comes to time management, both partners might feel like they’re always busy and don’t have any extra minutes in the day for anything else beyond their responsibilities.

However, there is nothing wrong with taking some time out of each night to spend a few moments talking about what happened during the day or even exchanging sweet messages back and forth! This can be enough to keep your bond strong between each other.

Remember that you are on the same team together!

It’s easy for stress levels to get high when one person feels like they aren’t being heard by their significant other, but remember that you still care about them at the end of every difficult conversation! Even if arguments arise over something as simple as what to eat for dinner, remember that you are both on the same team and want the best for one another.

Don’t take anything personally when communicating out loud together.

Though we’re sometimes taught growing up to put ourselves first in every situation possible, taking everything personally during conversations will only lead down a road filled with unnecessary anxiety and stress!

Instead, focus on the issue at hand and how you can solve it together – this is the best way to keep everyone in a relationship happy!

Don’t bring up past mistakes.

This may seem counter-productive when trying to resolve an issue. If there’s too much focus on something that happened in the past, then neither partner will be able to move forward with their lives because they’ll always feel stuck!

It might not even help for one person to apologize since this won’t change anything unless both partners are willing to let things go, so try your best during conversations instead of looking back at what has already been said or done.

Dealing with negative emotions.

negative emotions

Most human beings tend to get angry when things don’t go their way, so it’s essential to know how you both can deal with these types of feelings constructively during conversations together!

Now, this doesn’t mean that either partner should suppress or ignore their anger but instead express what they’re feeling and why while also having the other person do the same thing – it might feel odd at first but trust us on this one!

Before long, you’ll be able to cope with difficult situations much easier than ever before.

Keep each other updated about changes within yourself.

Even though it seems like no big deal, keeping your significant other updated about changes within yourself can help them become more comfortable with the idea of it and, in turn, invest even more time into your relationship!

Taking this step will make both partners feel closer and put less pressure on one another when trying to get used to something new.

Don’t wait for things to happen – instead, take action!

Being passive about issues between partners is never recommended because there’s no reason anyone should sit idly while waiting around for someone else to solve their problems or feelings; we’re all capable of doing everything ourselves, so don’t expect anything from your partner if they aren’t able (or willing) to follow through at any given moment during conversations together.

It’s okay if not everything gets discussed!

There will be times when complicated issues can’t seem to get resolved no matter how hard you try or complex topics come up that just aren’t the best time for either of you right now.

It might feel like a waste of time, but there’s nothing wrong with saying “this isn’t the right moment” and keeping things lighthearted instead!

This way, neither person will feel anxious during conversations, and there won’t be any pressure at all.

Don’t play games by withholding information from each other.

Although it seems like a great strategy to let one person stew for a while, withholding information from your significant other will never lead to any long-term success. The trust will be gone, and both people won’t feel as connected anymore (which should always remain at the forefront during conversations)!

No matter how much time passes or what happens, this isn’t something either partner should ever do.

Don’t argue about things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things!

Arguing over small details might make you feel better as an individual. Still, all it’s doing is creating unnecessary tension between partners, which – if left unresolved – can create fissures within relationships.

Don’t expect your partner to read your mind.

This may seem like a given, but it’s easier said than done!

Instead, both people should be willing to express their feelings and thoughts as soon as possible, so there’s no guesswork involved.

Don’t assume that either person knows precisely how the other feels without giving them any clues or hints along the way.

Being open and honest about what you’re feeling is the only way to make sure your partner knows what’s up during conversations together.

Eliminating assumptions is key!

When it comes to relationships, assuming things about your partner is never the best way forward because they may not feel as connected as you think. This will only create fissures within the foundation of your relationship.

Instead, always communicate with each other by letting them know what’s going on without making unnecessary assumptions.

It’s okay to disagree!

In fact, it can be a good thing as long as both people are willing to keep an open dialogue going so neither person feels hurt or disrespected.

Everyone has a different opinion, and there’s no “right” way to approach any given topic, so it’s important to remember that disagreeing is normal but being willing to respect each other during conversations together at the same time!

Don’t be afraid to show affection.

show affection

It’s completely fine if both partners need space every once in a while, but there is nothing wrong with being intimate together when things are going well, no matter how busy they might be!

Taking the time to express your love for one another will not only make you feel better about yourself, but it can also help improve communication between each person because of how good it makes them feel inside and out.

Be aware of how your partner feels.

It may seem like a given, but you’d be surprised at how many people don’t know what their partner is thinking or feeling during conversations together!

Instead, both partners should try to stay aware of the other person’s feelings and make sure they’re taking them into account when discussing things.

If one person feels neglected for even a second, it will lead towards tension within relationships that no one wants (and shouldn’t!).

Being empathetic can go a long way in making your relationship stronger than ever before.

Conclusion

Right now, you’re probably thinking, “wow, this all sounds really complicated.”

Well, don’t worry because we have one last tip for you … just relax! 

Yes, it might sound like a tall order, but talking to each other is supposed to be fun, and if you’re not enjoying yourselves, then there’s something seriously wrong! Remember that every relationship goes through ups and downs, so take the good with the bad. It will make your conversations together all that much stronger in the end!

We want to hear from you! What strategies have been most helpful for improving your communication with your partner? Which rules did not work at all? How has this blog post helped you think about ways to improve the way you communicate in a relationship?

Please comment below and let us know how these simple rules have impacted your life.

Author

  • Matthew Mansour is a professional life coach, fitness trainer, health coach, a blogger with over 800 articles published to date. He enjoys reading and researching books that are reflective of the nature of who we are as humans, understanding the complexity of our minds, and using it as an advantage to propel us forward in life. He is a self-help enthusiast and he is not ashamed about it! He’s always looking for his next fix of inspiration, motivation, insight, and wisdom from those who have been there before him! He also does a lot of courses and research on the latest and greatest in the area of self-help, life coaching, and health. He likes to share his discoveries with anyone who is interested in listening! His personal goal is to help people achieve great results in their lives, that is why he also has a blog about self-improvement. He loves animals and he currently lives in New Jersey with his loving wife and his recently born child.

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