What Should You Do If Your Spouse Doesn’t Share Your Interests?

By Matthew Mansour
Save Your Marriage - Proven Techniques

Reviewed & edited by Lenny Terra - If you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.

If you are married, chances are that your spouse likes different things than you do. One might be into sports, while the other is into gardening.

Or one might enjoy cooking, and the other may not have any interest in it at all. It can seem like a daunting task to try to figure out what to do when your spouse doesn’t share the same interests as you, but there are ways around this problem.

Interests

Consequently, this will help you know how to deal with these issues.

First, it is essential to realize that this is just part of being in a marriage. This is something that you should be expecting from a relationship with another person. In other words, you need to accept that this is just going to happen. So if you find yourself frustrated by this fact, then you need to consider this.

So if your spouse doesn’t share the same interests as you, don’t get upset. There is nothing wrong with this. There is nothing you can do about it. You are not married to someone who shares your interests, so why would you expect that?

I’ll give you twelve pointers on how to make it work for you two.

Find common ground to build a relationship on.

When you find some common interests, it can be easier to relate to one another. Consequently, this is going to help the two of you have a stronger relationship together.

You don’t want to try and force things, but if you find some common interests, this can help you out. You may find that there is more than just one thing that the two of you have in common. If so, then it will be easier for you to bond together.

Compromise.

For example, maybe one person wants to do something that the other isn’t very fond of. In this case, it might be necessary for the two of you to find an alternative activity if you want to make things work.

Conversely, sometimes your spouse will ask you to participate in something, and this can be exciting!

If one of you loves sports and the other is not interested in it, then perhaps you can compromise on finding something that both of you will enjoy.

To have a good relationship, if one does something they love for a while, allow them to do so. Then once they are finished with this activity, you can have a turn. In this way, the two of you will be happy and satisfied with your relationship as a whole.

Have your own interests and hobbies.

In other words, the two of you should have interests on your own. This means that it is not a good idea to try to make your spouse do everything with you.

hobbies

If they are interested in something, then this will be a bonding activity for you both. But if they aren’t, don’t force it on them. After all, this is going to be a miserable experience for you both.

Instead, try to find things that you enjoy and do these without your spouse. And try to avoid getting upset when they don’t join you!

Just remember that having separate interests and hobbies will help you be happier and more satisfied in the long run.

If you disagree, avoid forcing it.

Sometimes your spouse may not feel like participating in an activity with you. In this case, you don’t want to force them because they will start to resent this fact, and it can ruin the relationship as a whole.

So if one of you doesn’t care much for cooking and the other one does, they can do their own thing. This means having separate meals if necessary.

In the end, you don’t want to force your spouse to do anything they would rather not be doing! This will only make things worse and cause issues within the relationship as a whole.

Include them in activities you enjoy.

If you still think that your spouse would approve of something you like, then invite them to join you. For example, if you love to play video games, then ask your spouse to join you. Then they may end up enjoying it as well.

And if for some reason they don’t like it, at least they tried it out! At least, this will prevent resentment from building up on either side of the relationship.

In any case, it is a good idea to include them in activities that you enjoy. This will help your relationship to remain strong and prevent resentment from forming.

Enjoy life together.

In other words, make sure to have some fun together if you can.

You don’t want to leave your spouse out of everything, but you also don’t want them forced into things. If you find some common interests, then enjoy these activities together. But if not, at least make sure that you are both enjoying life together as a whole.

This way, the two of you will be happy with each other and have a wonderful relationship!

Accept that your spouse isn’t perfect.

spouse

It can be disappointing when you find out that the person you are with has shortcomings, just like everyone else in the world. But you have to remember that nobody is perfect. So if your spouse doesn’t share all the same interests as you do, don’t even think about getting upset over it or feeling disappointed by it.

Instead, try to accept them more so than anything else. After time has passed, you may even realize that what your partner likes isn’t necessarily a bad thing at all! So while they may not enjoy something that you love, many other things bring you happiness in the future.

Don’t compare your spouse to others.

Many people fall into the trap of often comparing their partner to others, yet this can be extremely harmful to a relationship. You need to realize that everyone has different interests, and things work out differently for different couples.

In other words, you need to avoid thinking about how “easy” other people have it with their relationships or how much different it would be if you were dating someone else. Don’t think about these things because they will only lead to further resentment in the long run.

Instead, accept your spouse for who they are and don’t compare them to anyone else! Of course, you want things to be perfect, but that isn’t always realistic, nor is it practical in the real world, so don’t expect too much out of your partner.

Have date nights that include activities you both enjoy.

date nights

Don’t let date nights become boring or turn into a routine.

If the two of you start getting bored, it can have significant consequences for your relationship. It is important to try to do something together that both of you will enjoy every once in a while. This doesn’t mean forcing them into things they would otherwise not be interested in, but rather doing something that both of you will appreciate.

For example, you can take them with you if you enjoy going to museums. If museums aren’t their idea of fun, then maybe try and find something else together. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as the two of you are happy and enjoying that moment together.

Take turns planning dates for each other — try doing things your spouse likes.

This may be a difficult thing to get used to at first, but it can be beneficial in the long run.

If you are used to doing things that your spouse doesn’t care about, then try and change this by taking turns planning dates for each other. In other words, let them plan something that they enjoy every once in a while. This can make them feel appreciated and loved more than ever before!

However, don’t be upset if they don’t take you up on this offer too often. This is because people like to stick with the things that they are comfortable with, and it may take some time for them to get used to something new – just like it might take you some time as well!

Learn about their interests, so you can better understand what they’re into and why they do certain things.

Learn about their interests

This is an excellent idea for anyone in a relationship to do regardless. If you want to understand what your partner likes and why they enjoy certain things, you need to learn about their interests! You can ask them questions or try to figure it out on your own by learning more about the subjects they like.

It’s also important not to be judgmental when you’re trying to understand these things because this behavior will only push them further away from you. They need someone who will love and accept all of their uniqueness instead of pushing it away under the rug!

Discuss how happy it makes you when they make an effort for you.

Finally, you should always express how happy it makes you when your partner tries and does something new for you.

Maybe they decided to take you out for a picnic, or perhaps they made you dinner after a long day at work. These things may not seem like much, but they go an incredibly long way and can improve your relationship!

The two of you must appreciate each other – especially when all of your hard work pays off.

If your spouse starts doing more for you and you appreciate them less, what kind of message is this sending? Try and show them how much these little things mean to you because sometimes people forget that they are appreciated by the ones they love the most!

How to Find Shared Interests With Your Spouse

Conclusion.

Do you and your spouse have different interests? This is not uncommon in marriages. You may find that one of the best ways to make a marriage work when there are differences is by finding common ground. A great way to do this is through shared hobbies, such as cooking or gardening together.

We all have our interests, hobbies, and goals. Though it is necessary to find common ground with your spouse or significant other, you also owe yourself to be honest about who you are. If your interests are important to you, don’t let someone else’s opinion deter you from pursuing them.

What are some ways that you can share interests with your spouse? Are there any differences between you and your spouse that led to a divide in interests?

We’d love to hear from you, so please leave a comment below! Your advice could help countless others struggling with the same issues.

Author

  • Matthew Mansour

    Matthew Mansour is a professional life coach, fitness trainer, health coach, a blogger with over 800 articles published to date. He enjoys reading and researching books that are reflective of the nature of who we are as humans, understanding the complexity of our minds, and using it as an advantage to propel us forward in life. He is a self-help enthusiast and he is not ashamed about it! He’s always looking for his next fix of inspiration, motivation, insight, and wisdom from those who have been there before him! He also does a lot of courses and research on the latest and greatest in the area of self-help, life coaching, and health. He likes to share his discoveries with anyone who is interested in listening! His personal goal is to help people achieve great results in their lives, that is why he also has a blog about self-improvement. He loves animals and he currently lives in New Jersey with his loving wife and his recently born child.

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