Do You Notice These 21 Toxic Signs in Your Marriage?

By Lenny Terra
Save Your Marriage - Proven Techniques

Reviewed & edited by Lenny Terra - If you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.

We all know that marriages take work. But sometimes, we don’t realize how bad things have gotten until it’s too late. If you’re noticing any of these toxic signs in your marriage, it might be time to reevaluate things.

Don’t wait until it’s too late! There are ways to fix a marriage, but you must be honest with yourself and each other first. So, if you’re seeing any of the following signs in your relationship, please reach out for help. You’re not alone!

You’re always arguing.

If you find that you’re constantly fighting with your spouse, it might be a sign that things are toxic. Couples argue occasionally – that’s normal. After all, you’re two different people with different opinions and perspectives.

But if it feels like you’re always fighting, and you can’t seem to resolve your differences, it might mean that there’s a bigger issue at play. 

If you’re always arguing, it’s time to take a step back and figure out why. What are you really fighting about? Is it the same thing over and over again? It could be that you simply misunderstand each other or that you have different communication styles. It could also be that you’re facing bigger issues that need to be addressed.

Disagreements are normal, but if they’re constantly causing tension and arguments, it’s time to get help.

Whatever the case, it’s important to remember that fighting is not the only way to resolve your differences. Argumentative behavior can be a way of deflecting blame or avoiding intimacy, and it can quickly lead to a downward spiral of conflict.

If you find yourself arguing with your spouse regularly, it’s important to take a step back and try to understand the root of the problem. You can try sitting down and having a calm, honest conversation. If you’re both willing to listen and compromise, you’ll be surprised at how quickly you can find common ground.

You can get your relationship back on track with effort and patience. In the end, arguing is not necessarily bad – it’s simply a sign that you’re both invested in the relationship and willing to work hard to make it work.

How To Argue With Your Partner

You’re not being honest with each other.

Honesty is crucial in any relationship. If you can’t be honest with your spouse, it isn’t easy to build trust and intimacy. And without trust and intimacy, your marriage is likely to suffer.

There are many different reasons why people might not be honest with their spouses. In some cases, people are afraid of hurting their partner’s feelings. In other cases, they might be trying to protect themselves from conflict or hurt. But whatever the reason, not being honest with your spouse is a sure sign that something is wrong.

If you’re not being honest with your partner, it’s important to ask yourself why. What are you afraid of? What are you trying to protect yourself from? Once you’ve identified the root of the problem, you can start working on a solution. Being honest with each other is a key part of rebuilding trust and intimacy. It might not be easy, but it’s worth it.

You’re always criticizing each other.

If you find that you’re constantly criticizing your spouse, it might be a sign that you’re not happy in the relationship. Criticism is different from constructive feedback. It’s not about trying to help your partner improve or grow – it’s about finding fault and tearing them down.

Criticism is a toxic behavior because it’s based on a mindset of scarcity. When we’re constantly focused on what’s wrong with our partner, it isn’t easy to see the good. And when we can’t see the good, it’s easy to fall into a spiral of negativity.

If you find yourself criticizing your spouse regularly, it’s important to take a step back and ask yourself why. What are you trying to accomplish? In most cases, criticism is a sign of resentment or insecurity. It’s important to address these underlying issues head-on to improve your marriage.

You’re not being supportive of each other.

A healthy marriage is built on a foundation of mutual respect and support. If you’re not being supportive of your partner, there’s likely a problem.

There are many different ways to be supportive of your spouse. It could be something as simple as lending a listening ear when they need to vent. Or it could be something more tangible, like helping out with childcare or household chores. Whatever form it takes, support is essential to a happy and healthy marriage.

If you’re not being supportive of your partner, ask yourself why. What’s preventing you from being there for them? In most cases, the answer will have something to do with your own needs and wants. Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed and don’t have the energy to support your spouse. Or perhaps you’re feeling resentful and don’t want to do anything for them.

Whatever the reason, it’s important to address the issue head-on. Without emotional support, marriages often crumble under the weight of stress and conflict. If you want your marriage to thrive, you need to be there for your spouse – even when it’s not convenient.

What to do when your partner is unsupportive | Mel Robbins

You’re not spending enough time together.

In today’s busy world, it’s easy to let work and other commitments get in the way of your marriage. But if you’re not making time for your spouse, it’s a sign of a toxic marriage.

Marriages need quality time to thrive. That means spending time together without distractions, talking about things that are important to you, and just enjoying each other’s company. If you’re not spending enough time together, it’s important to ask yourself why. What’s preventing you from making time for your partner?

In most cases, the answer has to do with priorities. We all have a limited amount of time and energy, so we have to choose how we spend it. If your marriage isn’t a priority, other things will likely take precedence. That’s not to say that you should never work or pursue other interests – but your spouse should always come first.

You’re not having fun together.

One of the most important parts of a happy marriage is having fun together. If you’re not enjoying your time with your spouse, it’s a sign that something is wrong.

There are many different ways to have fun together. It could be something as simple as watching a movie or going for a walk. Or it could be something more adventurous, like taking a trip or trying a new activity. Whatever you do, you must both be enjoying yourselves.

What’s preventing you from enjoying your time with your spouse? In most cases, the answer will have something to do with your own needs and wants. Maybe you’re feeling stressed and don’t want to relax. Or perhaps you’re resentful and don’t want to have fun.

Whatever the reason, it’s important to address the issue head-on. Without fun, marriages often become stagnant and boring. If you want your marriage to thrive, you must find ways to enjoy your time together.

You’re not being affectionate with each other.

not being affectionate with each other

One toxic sign in your marriage is when you’re no longer being affectionate with each other. This could manifest in many ways, such as not kissing each other goodbye before leaving for work, no longer cuddling before going to bed, or simply not touching each other at all during moments of intimacy.

Not being affectionate with each other can make you feel like you’re not important to your partner anymore. It can also make you feel like you’re not attracted to them anymore. If you’re not being affectionate with each other, it’s important to try to figure out why.

It could be that you’re feeling stressed or busy, or it could be that there’s something wrong in your relationship. Whatever the reason, it’s important to talk to your partner about it and try to find a way to get the affection back into your relationship.

You’re neglecting your partner’s needs. 

In a happy and healthy relationship, both partners should feel like their needs are being met. But if you’re neglecting your partner’s needs, it’s a sign that something is wrong.

This can manifest in many ways, but it all comes down to a lack of attention and care. Maybe you stopped making an effort to spend time with your partner; perhaps you started prioritizing work or hobbies over your relationship.

Neglect is often rooted in a lack of respect or consideration, which can be incredibly damaging to a relationship. If you disrespect your partner, it will eventually lead to a toxic and unhappy relationship.

If you’re neglecting your partner, it’s important to take a step back and try to understand why.

Are you feeling overwhelmed or stressed? Are you taking your partner for granted? This can lead to many problems, such as resentment, arguments, and even infidelity.

Once you identify the root cause of the problem, you can start taking steps to correct it.

With a little effort, you can revitalize your relationship and start enjoying the companionship and intimacy that drew you together in the first place.

If you’re not sure what your partner needs, ask them!

Communication is key in any relationship, especially when trying to meet each other’s needs. Neglecting your partner’s needs is a sign of a toxic relationship, so keep an eye out for it.

You blame each other for everything that goes wrong.

When you’re in a happy and healthy relationship, you and your partner are a team. You support each other through thick and thin, and you’re there for each other no matter what.

But in a toxic relationship, it’s easy to start pointing the finger when things go wrong. Maybe you blame your partner for not getting enough sleep, or they blame you for not doing the dishes. Whatever the case, this kind of blame game is incredibly damaging to a relationship.

Not only does it make you feel resentful towards each other, but it also erodes trust and mutual respect. If you find that you’re always blaming your partner for everything, it’s time to take a step back and try to figure out why.

Are you feeling overwhelmed or stressed? Is there something going on in your life that’s making you act out? Whatever the reason, it’s important to talk to your partner about it and try to find a way to stop the blame game.

You never apologize to each other.

In any relationship, there will be times when you make a mistake or hurt your partner’s feelings. It’s inevitable. But in a healthy relationship, you can apologize and move on.

In a toxic relationship, however, one or both partners might have difficulty apologizing. Maybe you think you’re always right, or perhaps you don’t care about your partner’s feelings. Whatever the case may be, this is a major red flag.

Lack of empathy.

Not being able to apologize is a sign of a lack of empathy, which is essential for any healthy relationship. If you can’t put yourself in your partner’s shoes and understand how they’re feeling, it won’t be easy to maintain a happy and healthy relationship.

If you’re having trouble apologizing, you must talk to your partner about it. There might be a reason why you’re struggling, and they can help you work through it.

At the end of the day, being able to apologize is essential for any healthy relationship. If you can’t do it, it might be time to rethink the relationship.

You have different interests now.

 It’s not uncommon for couples to have different interests as they get older. Maybe you used to enjoy doing the same things, but now you find that you don’t have much in common. Or perhaps you’ve always had different interests, and it’s just now becoming more apparent.

Different interests can be a good thing – it gives you a chance to learn new things and explore new hobbies. But it can also be a source of conflict if you’re not careful.

If you want your marriage to prosper, it’s important to find ways to connect with your partner, even if you don’t share the same interests. Maybe there are some activities you can do together, or you can find some common ground in other areas of your life. Whatever you do, make sure that you’re still spending time together and trying to find ways to connect.

What To Do If Spouses Have Different Interests Or Hobbies?

You’re always thinking about divorce.

If you constantly think about divorce, it may be time to reevaluate your marriage. While it’s normal to have occasional doubts, constant thoughts about divorce can be a sign that something is wrong.

If you’re not happy with your current situation, it may be time to talk to your spouse about making some changes. It’s also important to be honest with yourself about why you’re thinking about divorce. Are you unhappy with your spouse? Do you feel like you’re not being heard? Are you concerned about financial stability? Once you identify the root of your dissatisfaction, you can begin to work on a solution.

If you’re unsure how to fix the problems in your marriage, there are plenty of resources available to help you get started. Don’t wait until it’s too late to act; if your marriage is in trouble, take action now.

You don’t trust your partner.

If you don’t trust your partner, it’s time to take a step back and reassess your relationship. Trust is essential in any marriage, and without it, the foundation of your relationship is at risk.

There are many reasons why you may not trust your partner. Maybe they’ve lied to you in the past, or perhaps you have different definitions of fidelity. Maybe you’re always afraid they will leave you, or you don’t feel they’re truly committed to the relationship.

Whatever the reason, lack of trust can lead to many problems in a marriage. It can cause feelings of insecurity, jealousy, and resentment. It can also make it difficult to communicate and work together as a team. If you want your marriage to thrive, it’s important to find a way to rebuild trust.

You have a controlling partner.

If you have a partner who is always trying to control you, it’s time to take a stand. No adult deserves to be treated like a child, and you shouldn’t have to put up with it just because you’re married. It is a sign of toxic marriage and will only worsen over time.

There are many ways that a controlling partner can try to control you. They may tell you what to do, how to dress, or who to spend time with. They may try to manage your finances or make all the decisions in the relationship. If you’re not careful, a controlling partner can start to control every aspect of your life.

Controlling behavior is often a sign of insecurity, and it can be very damaging to a relationship. If you want your marriage to survive, you must find a way to deal with your partner’s controlling behavior.

If you want to keep your marriage healthy, it’s important to maintain some sense of independence. You should be able to make your own decisions, and you shouldn’t have to answer to your partner all the time. If you’re not sure how to stand up for yourself, there are plenty of resources available to help you.

You’re not happy.

This is perhaps the most obvious sign that something is wrong in your marriage. If you’re unhappy, it’s likely that your spouse is, too.

Unhappiness can manifest in many ways, but it often comes down to a feeling of dissatisfaction. Maybe you’re not getting the attention or affection you need, or perhaps you feel like you’re not being heard. Whatever the reason, if you’re unhappy, it’s important to take action.

You can do many things to improve your marriage, but it starts with communication. Talk to your spouse about what’s making you unhappy and see if there’s anything you can do to change the situation. You can overcome any obstacle if you’re both committed to making things work.

10 Signs You're Not As Happy In Your Relationship As You Pretend To Be

You don’t care about each other’s feelings.

If you’ve stopped caring about your spouse’s feelings, it’s time to take a step back and reassess your relationship. This is often a sign that you’ve become disconnected from each other, which can lead to all sorts of problems. You might be in a toxic relationship, or you might be heading for a divorce.

When you stop caring about your spouse’s feelings, you’re more likely to start arguing and fighting. You may also find yourself withdrawing from the relationship and spending more time apart. If you want to keep your marriage strong, it’s important to find a way to reconnect with your spouse.

One partner belittles the other.

If you’re in a marriage where one partner belittles the other, it’s time to take a stand. This kind of behavior is not only hurtful but also a sign of disrespect. If your partner continues to denigrate you after being asked to stop, it may be time to seek counseling or consider ending the relationship.

When one partner does that, it can make the other feel small, not good enough, and unimportant. This kind of behavior is destructive to a relationship and can cause immense emotional pain. If you’re in a relationship where you’re being belittled, it’s time to take a stand and tell your partner that this behavior is not acceptable.

Your spouse makes you tense and quiet.

Tension and silence are often signs that something is wrong in a marriage. If you feel tense or silent around your spouse, it’s important to take a step back and assess the situation.

Tension can arise for many reasons, but it often comes down to a lack of communication. If you’re not communicating with your spouse, it’s easy to feel tense and uncomfortable. This can lead to arguments and resentment, quickly damaging a marriage.

If you’re feeling tense and silent around your spouse, it’s important to find a way to break the cycle. Talk to your spouse about what’s going on and see if there’s anything you can do to improve the situation.

Your spouse gaslights you.

Gaslighting is a type of emotional abuse where the abuser tries to make their victim question their own reality. If you feel like your spouse is gaslighting you, it’s important to get out of the situation as soon as possible.

There are many signs that you might be being gaslighted, but some of the most common include feeling confused, dizzy, or lightheaded. You may also start to doubt yourself or feel like you’re losing your grip on reality. Gaslighting can be extremely damaging to a marriage, so getting help is important if you’re being affected by it.

You’re jealous.

Jealousy is normal, but it can damage a relationship if not kept in check. If you feel jealous of your spouse, it’s important to take a step back and examine why.

Jealousy often stems from insecurity, so ask yourself if there’s something you’re feeling insecure about. Do you feel like your relationship is in trouble? Do you worry that your spouse is attracted to someone else? Once you identify the root of your jealousy, you can start to work on overcoming it.

If you’re struggling with jealousy, there are plenty of resources available to help you. You don’t have to deal with it alone; seek out support from friends, family, or a therapist. With a little effort, you can get past jealousy and improve your relationship.

Dealing With Jealousy

You’re not having sex.

Sex is an important part of any marriage, but keeping the spark alive is not always easy. If you’re not having sex, it may be a sign that something is wrong.

There are many reasons why couples stop having sex, but often it comes down to a lack of intimacy. Maybe you don’t feel connected to your spouse anymore, or perhaps you’re feeling resentful. Whatever the reason, if you’re not interested in sex, it’s important to talk to your spouse about it.

It’s also important to remember that sex isn’t always the answer. If you’re not in the mood, don’t force yourself. Instead, try to find other ways to connect with your partner. Maybe you can cook dinner together or watch a movie.

There are all sorts of ways to connect with your partner, even if you’re not in the mood for sex.

Conclusion.

If you have noticed any of these signs in your marriage, it is time to take action. Do not wait until the toxicity has consumed your relationship and caused irreparable damage. Seek help from a professional who can guide you through this difficult process.

There is hope for restoring your marriage, but it will require effort and dedication from both partners. Have you recognized any of these toxic signs in your marriage? What steps are you going to take to address them?

Author

  • Lenny Terra

    Lenny Terra is the founder & editor-in-chief. He’s a life coach, software engineer, freelance writer, and has a diploma in Modern Applied Psychology. Lenny has a passion for great living & beautiful design. He is married and is the father of two beautiful girls. His life’s mission is to help people improve their lives, become happier and more productive. This blog is his contribution to that goal and to the empowerment of his readers. Lenny and his family live in Texas with their two dogs.

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